


Another cliche

by Dreamying



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Exes to lovers au, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-04 17:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14024685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamying/pseuds/Dreamying
Summary: You smell like home," Jongin nozzles into his hair, after they had spent an hour or two or too many exploring eachother's bodies despite the tiredness."I smell like sex and cum," that drives Jongin into a giggling fit, and Kyungsoo likes this home better than anything, where Jongin's laughter blooms like flowers in spring.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to been though by exo if you want. 
> 
> Take a shot everytime I wrote 'even after all those years' and tell me how drunk you are.

It would be a lie to say that Kyungsoo never imagined this, cause he did. In fact there had been many scenarios that were whirling in his restless head in sleepless nights, until he gives up and pours himself a glass of honey whiskey he stashed in the lower corner of kitchen fridge. But nothing prepared him for what has came.   
  
Kim Jongin   
  
Jongin, the once 17yr old boy too in love with dance and Kyungsoo, a boy with warm coffee eyes and even warmer smiles and hugs. The boy who breathed dreams, twirling on the tips of his feet, and pulled Kyungsoo along.   
  
Jongin the once his... Boyfriend.. love of his life or at least that's what Kyungsoo's naive 18yr old self had thought.   
  
But fate had decided to prove Kyungsoo wrong.   
  
It was a well thought decision, Kyungsoo insists, Jongin may or may not agree. But who is Kyungsoo to snatch away something too precious from Jongin? Given he was the other's first love and all that jazz. In theory, first love doesn't exactly end well. So better now than later, he let Jongin fly when the opportunity arrived, to Seoul, to SME, to fulfill his dreams.   
  
And Jongin gave in without much resistance.   
  
Kyungsoo patted his own back when Jongin had called him one night gushing, laughing and then crying in the end telling him about he is soon to be debut. Kyungsoo cried too, he was so happy for the younger, and on his part it was a right decision when he gave the younger a little more push. And Jongin flew higher, above anyone else. Jongin was quickly promoted from Kyungsoo's first love to nation's first love. It's hard to not love Jongin, so Kyungsoo doesn't blame every girl and or or guy whose heart Jongin snatched away with ease. International fans are funny with their memes of wigs getting snatched, he checks online, under as an anonymous fan among sea of many others. Jongin scattered records after records quickly climbing the charts.   
  
And once again, Kyungsoo ends up crying because, well, he ended up giving the younger the ultimate push when he said he can't take the long distance relationship any longer and that he wanted an out. Jongin, the ever sweet Jongin was very understanding and forgiving, gave in and freed Kyungsoo from the job of a part-time lover. Kyungsoo was never been more thankful. It would hurt for time being but it was the better thing to do.   
  
Kyungsoo smiled as the star shined brighter, albeit it flickered momentarily, but thrived back with a force like never before. Jongin's the phoenix that jumps back to life right after death, and Kyungsoo's ashes that's left behind, it doesn't matter,he will be gone with the wind any time. And Kyungsoo prefers it that way. We would prefer to be dust in the wind than be a hindering obstacle in Jongin's life.   
  
He drowns in the burn in his throat with another bottle of alcohol. This shall pass too, someday the throbbing pain will numb to prickling needles and everything will become a fuzzy memory, he wishes to remember everything pleasant than the tears and pain.   
  
.   
  
..   
  
  
"Hyung," Jongin's voice whines from the other side of the phone line.   
  
"Jongin!!" Kyungsoo sighs. It ain't the first time, Jongin had drunk dialed him after, what he assumes as a party of some sort with his crew and stuff, he can hear the buzzing noises of people chattering and glasses clinking.   
  
"Can't you talk to an old friend for 5 mins Soo," at this point it's all slurs but Kyungsoo manages to pick out the words. He pointedly ignores the soft Soo. It won't be long for Jongin to pass out while still on phone so he decides to wait, but ends up answering anyway. "If you forgot, we are exs Jongin, we can't talk don't call me again," he manages the best monotonous voice he could muster up, and holds up the line not for an answer but to make sure someone to get the idol and take him home safe, preferably his manager, who had became familiar with this situation more often than not, and they somehow has a non vocalised agreement.   
  
Ruffling sounds and then a sniff. "Kyungsoo hyung," Jongin whines again but now the voice a tad bit softer and deeper than it was a few seconds ago. Kyungsoo mentally kicks himself for even answering the call, cause Jongin is now crying, the younger can't hold alcohol better, he is gonna have a bad hangover at this point, and then a memory of this whole conversation. It hurts to even think, so Kyungsoo pushes it back to back side of his mind along with everything he shouldn't be thinking and his own tears. His head is hurting already, and he doesn't want to deal with this now. They are done for and Jongin have to get it, It's been two years, 5 months,16 days since their official breakup, it's about time. They shouldn't even remember each other.   
  
"Don't call me again," this time, he hopes it came out as sternly as he intended.   
  
A few more hiccups, and Kyungsoo waits for line to drop dead but there comes a thud and a soft noise of Jongin's muffled cries.   
  
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kyungsoo turns his phone off. It's going to be a long night as he chases after dreams of a certain someone in the poppy fields, shirts discarded somewhere till they reach the edge of lake and then jump into it, as the cold water cools this warm sweaty bodies. Young, carefree and in love, as they swim around till the sun set and warming up each other after.   
  
.   
  
..   
  
  
And even after another year later, the muffled sobs echo's in Kyungsoo's ears as he stands under the shower wiping his eyes furiously even if the water already washes away the tears, the iPad discarded in bed with a tab of certain idol's dating rumours still open. The certain idol Kyungsoo had thought about every day, night and everything minute of his life.   
  
The water had gone cold, he notices way later, as his wrinkled skin shivers. Grabbing a towel, lazily wrapping around his body, he falls in the bed in hopes to sleep it away.   
  
"Hyung, I love you, you know I love you the most right?"   
  
Right, he thinks bitterly swallowing the lump stuck in his throat, as his eyes once again wander over the still lit screen. She is beautiful and talented actress. Everything about her screaming elegance and sophistication. They would look perfect standing next to each other, in each other's arms.   
  
And she is the type of the girl one would prefer to walk down the aisle in expensive white gown holding a beautifully arrange flower bouquet.   
  
And it still hurts. When will it stop hurting, it's been years all he wants is a little bit of peace to his restless soul. He is the one that wanted Jongin to let go of the past yet he is being played by the threads of past holding his heart and mind and nipping at every inch of his existence.   
  
.   
  
..   
  
"Kyungsoo," someone calls his name in the crowd.   
  
Turning around he finds a lady hurriedly making her way to him. And Kyungsoo curses under his breath for ever turning and stopping to look for the owner of the voice.   
  
"Mrs. Kim," he smiles and hopes it's not too fake.   
  
Jongin's mom, she always been a lovely lady and ever so kind. He remembers all those years ago, how nice she treated him, definitely not knowing he wasn't exactly Jongin's friend. One more word they deliberately had avoided using... the boy in front of Friend. But it's better that way. For Jongin, him and everyone around them.   
  
The grocery bag looks too heavy, and out of courtesy Kyungsoo offers to help her and ends up strolling the whole market buying almost everything and anything. It's seems as if Kim family is having a feast or something. But that's not really uncommon given how big their family is with two already married sisters of Jongin, and their husbands and maybe now they have kids too. Occasional visits are a common thing. He had joined a few dinners with some of the members when he was over back then.   
  
The drive back to Kim's place is filled with chatter of mrs.kim's endless talks, excited over the shopping they had done, and grateful for Kyungsoo's help. And then a little nagging that Kyungsoo never visits them anymore, just because Jongin's got too busy, they have became strangers, with a pinch to his stubbled cheek.   
  
Kyungsoo smiles and waves it off, saying it they doesn't talk much anymore, and lies he will visit her next time he is around their place.   
  
Turning off the engine once he is parked, Kyungsoo regards it's only appropriate that he helps the bags and bags of stuff to be carried in side the house too, since he is there anyway. And it's a weekend, nothing better to do once he goes back.   
  
Kyungsoo carries the bags inside of a well known house or so he thought, since the interior has changed drastically over the years he never put a foot inside. After making a few more rounds from car to kitchen, someone greets him in the living room, Jihyun, the eldest sister, "long time noona" Kyungsoo smiles politely walking to her and the toddler in her arms. The Toddler, a boy makes grabby hands at Kyungsoo instantly, giggling once he lets him play with his hand. She looks tired, having a small kid can be too tiring since the baby might end up crying at nights and having odd sleeping hours. "He likes you," she points out amused, at her son warming up so fast to a stranger. "You think so?" He beams, finally giving in and taking a hold of the baby boy. The phone goes off, and she excuses herself with an apology to attend the call. Kyungsoo waves her off, carrying the kid around.   
  
He smiles when the space over the fireplace is very well decorated with pictures of certain someone, upon closer look, there is one where Jongin's arm draped over Kyungsoo's shoulder heavily, as Kyungsoo smiles at the camera, the idol is smiling at him. An oddly familiar pain once again jabs his heart. He has that picture too, hidden in a box with all the other things he opens everytime he is way too drunk and needs something to hold on to. He never managed muster up the courage to throw the memories away completely.   
  
The kid makes a noise, bringing Kyungsoo out of his thoughts, turning around he collides into a strong chest causing him to almost losing balance. A hand comes to support his back as well as the baby. Thank god, he silently prays to the gods and the person helping him stand up, with a murmur of unsure, "careful Soo."   
  
Quickly Kyungsoo places the kid in the couch chair, keeping a hand around so the kid won't fall. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down first, then it takes him a few moments to just put what happened together. A shiver runs down his spine as he finally faces the person that's standing a little too close for his comfort... And sanity, mostly the second one.   
  
This is awkward, everything..he wasn't ever supposed to meet Jongin in person again, much less almost tripping over and accidentally almost killing his nephew. If it were him, he wouldn't ever forgive someone that potentially can kill his nephew, and he doesn't even have one. And Jongin...Jongin might do.. who knows what...   
  
Someone clears their throat, and Kyungsoo finds Mrs.Kim walking over to them with a big smile plastered on her face, "Surprise," she beams looking between them both. "I haven't told any of you to make it surprise," she explains gleefully.   
  
_ Surprise indeed. _   
  
He awkwardly laughs with her and Jongin manages a smile, as she tells Kyungsoo to stay for dinner, which he tries to decline but the lady doesn't exactly the type to wait for someone's answer or takes a no, before she disappears into the kitchen.   
  
After several agonizingly dragged minutes of silence sans the kids blabbering sounds, Jihyun comes back apologizing for making him wait. Kyungsoo carefully hands her the baby and Jongin still stands there even when she is gone, telling them to have fun rekindling their friendship.   
  
Kyungsoo inwardly scoffs, "I guess I will get going, I can't stay for dinner, tell your mom I said sorry," Kyungsoo blabbers quickly way too fast, eyes looking everywhere but Jongin's face.   
  
A hand holds his twiddling fingers making Kyungsoo look up. Those big warm hands, are somehow even bigger than he remembers. And Jongin, he is so tall now, the puberty hitting him in all right angles and maturity adding subtle highlights. Sure Kyungsoo did saw his every recent photo but he has heard about photoshop and all that jazz, but comparing in person is entirely something else. He has to crane his neck to make eye contact. And Jongin is almost towering over him with the big shoulder and huge arms.   
  
" _ Stay _ ," Jongin says squeezing his hand, his voice almost demanding.. commanding, Kyungsoo feels the need to oblige.   
  
Not trusting his voice, Kyungsoo nods, looking down at his shoes, they are worn out. And a flush spreads across his neck, just then remembering how he is wearing a pair of worn out black sweatpants and a old as rag t shirt, that has a few tiny holes that one can see if they squint their eyes a little.   
  
The dinner, it goes by without saying that he looks and feels out of the place among all the successful people of the Kim's family, dressed at least not looking like a homeless person.   
  
And he keeps shivering every time he feels the almond eyes trailing his movements, more than dinner it feels like a torture. Is Jongin judging him? Or internally laughing at how ugly Kyungsoo looks now after breaking up with him? Whatever it is the intense eyes only making him further uncomfortable with his insides tingling at the attention.   
  
He keeps his answers short when someone asks him something, and offers a small albeit forced smile when they make jokes. And the subject shifts to Jongin, he tries his best to tune off the deep voice. Because it's too hard to not just climb over the table and hug Jongin might as well kiss him right in front of his whole family just because he missed Jongin. God, Kyungsoo missed him so much, that being in close proximity and unable to touch causing him physical pain, and he doesn't even notice what he had been stuffing his mouth with, he might as well had ate some tissues.   
  
He finally breaths when it's time for dessert, purple yam ginger pudding with a dollop of sweet coconut milk on top, it's favourite, one of Kim family's special dinner dessert. He couldn't resist but smile around a spoonful of it. How many years it has been since he ate this, and he clearly remembers Jongin saving him a portion whenever his mom made some. He grins over the memory and finds Jongin too grinning back at him.His stomach churns and does an Insta flip. He shouldn't be effected like this, it's been years. Kyungsoo ducks his head down and finishes it as fast as possible and mumbles a quick apology before tucking tail between legs as he makes a run, far from Kim's family and far from Jongin, and his stupid puppy eyes.   
  
Another sleepless night among many others, but this time instead of old times, his mind supplies him with newer and fresher memories. It leaves a bittersweet taste of how it will feel to be part of the family, sitting with Jongin once again, and maybe holding hands under the table, linking their pinkies together. And it ends with few more set of tears and how stupid and ridiculous the whole idea is in reality. Jongin, the ever so beautiful Jongin, deserves way better than Kyungsoo can ever offer even if he makes a deal with the devil.   
  
.   
  
..   
  
"Not gonna invite me in?" Jongin holds a bag up and shaking it a little. The contents rustle around making few clanks. Beer.   
  
Pushing his lips into a thin line, Kyungsoo opens the door ajar for the new visitor to enter. It's not like he can close the door on the face of nation's first love. That would be tragic.   
  
" What happened to your leg?" Kyungsoo hadn't noticed the other night the little limp,if he had noticed he would surely remember or Jongin had masked it, maybe as the tabloids said, Jongin is going to become an excellent actor in the near future.   
  
"Why else would they get me have a break," Jongin shakes his head making himself comfortable in the couch. He tries to play it off as a joke, but Kyungsoo can sense the little frustration looming around the edges.   
  
Jongin in his house, in the same old couch, for the first time in long time the house starts to look like home with his presence. And it's jarring how much Kyungsoo thinks of it as a normalcy.   
  
"Still hurts?" He asks nonchalantly but his voice comes out filled with concern, he slips, he might slip some more. He shouldn't have let Jongin in, he shakes his head, what if he doesn't want Jongin to leave? What if... Leaning against the wall Kyungsoo watches him empty the contents over the table. They used to enjoy hanging in their place with few beer cans and dried squids, and few other snacks and sometimes fried chicken from the old granny's store to fill their stomachs. Sticky fried chicken Jongin's favourite, fishing out the device, Kyungsoo dials the number he knows by heart but when the other line asks for the order, he comes to a halt... Is Jongin still fond of it? After tasting the cuisines around the world, would he even wants to taste it the fried chicken from a hole in wall store?   
  
"Are you calling fried chicken place?" Jongin glances up with a quirk of brow.   
  
Dumbfounded Kyungsoo just nods.   
  
"Make it two, am so hungry," Jongin grins at him. His whole face lights up, he looks like the same 17yr old boy again, same boyish charm Kyungsoo once fell for, and still falls again even when he is halfway to 50.   
  
" Half-half?" Kyungsoo asks holding the line still and receives a thumbs up. He murmurs the order along with a few bottles of Soju more since, he isn't much of a beer person over the years. He needs something strong, bitter and burning his throat along with his heart.   
  
Kyungsoo sits on the floor with his back pressed to the couch, not knowing what to say or think about their situation and why Jongin suddenly showed up at his doorstep after all this time. Anxiety bubbles in his guts.   
  
"What are thinking so hard?" Jongin asks, threading his fingers through Kyungsoo's hair, internally Kyungsoo grimaces, he hasn't washed his hair in couple of days, and his scalp tends to pump extra oil making it all greasy and sticky.   
  
"Are you sniffing my hair?," He asks suddenly craning his neck to the side and coming face to face with a wide eyed Jongin. Caught in act. He couldn't help the giggle that escapes his lips at Jongin's expression and pulls the hand out of hair. Of course it's greasy and might as well stink. Good thing he stopped before Jongin shoved his nose in his hair and pass out on spot from the foul smell.   
  
Kyungsoo tosses him a tissue when Jongin makes an attempt to rub it over the handrest.   
  
Opening the can, Jongin pushes it towards him, their fingers brush ever so slightly but enough for Kyungsoo's mind to flash memories of the way they used to hold hands. God.. he missed those days, he ends up laughing softly to himself as his eyes gloss a little, a weak attempt.   
  
"Why did you rush out of dinner yesterday?" Jongin asks after a few sips, when the silence becomes too much for his liking. The Busan dialect back, it's funny, after watching Jongin get rid of it with so much practice but he lets himself loose with Kyungsoo. Too funny, that Kyungsoo has to ask his heart to stop beating so fast.   
  
"I had to to meet a friend," Kyungsoo lies smoothly, like warm lie, but that's enough to keep his feelings from reaching the shore.   
  
Jongin hums," Friend who?"   
  
"A friend you don't know,"   
  
"You have friends I don't know? Since when?"   
  
"You don't know everything about me Jongin," it comes more stern and meaner than he intended. And Jongin flinches a little when their eyes meet. "Am sorry, am not shouting," he apologizes quickly, trying hard to keep his hands to himself.   
  
Jongin seems like he wants to say something but the doorbell beats him to it.   
  
Kyungsoo jumps at whatever distraction he can, to avoid potentially any heavy conversations between them. Jongin would leave in few hours anyway, and this night would become another dull memory over years, too much of something to hold on, hoping to break out of it. An endless loop.   
  
Jongdae is smiling, his lips curled like a kitten's, holding the delivery. The granny's grandson, a mischievous high schooler, from same school Kyungsoo teaches at.   
  
"Did you take anything?" He asks closing hands over chest and reading the younger's face for any hint of lie.   
  
"Hyung that was one time!! And just one bottle!!" comes the annoying high pitched whining paired with wounded look in the eyes, the kid sure has a strong voice.   
  
"One bottle or two, you are underage, drinking and stealing is wrong," Kyungsoo takes one of the bags to check the numbers of bottles inside first. He doesn't want him to end up drunk somewhere again, the old lady has to go look for him the night.   
  
"Wait I will get the mone- , he doesn't get to finish, Jongin suddenly pops out beside him, pulling his wallet out. "I got this."   
  
Jongdae's caught between screaming out loud and gaping like a goldfish with his voice struck somewhere in his throat at the site of the idol standing in doorway with few bills in his hands.   
  
"KAI!! No-no Jongin, Kim Jongin!!!" He finally manages to blabber, the cover with chicken almost dropping, Jongin boldly catches the bag and saves the day and the mess but his shirt ends up stained from the spill of sauce cups, might be Jongdae's half assed assembling.   
  
"I am huge fan of you, and Kyungsoo hyung!! You know Kim Jongin-shi and never told me," an accusing finger comes up in air with narrowed eyes.   
  
At this point Kyungsoo walks back inside shaking his head since, jongdae doesn't seem like he would shut up at any moment soon, it's better to let him talk now than, scream in his ear later.   
  
Kyungsoo makes a quick introduction, and Jongin seems to be the type of the idol to treat his fans kindly and gives him a sign and a selca, requesting not to post it anytime soon and never to mention the address anywhere on internet. Jongdae ends up making a little fool of himself by attempting to dance few steps of Jongin's 'i see you', but he is adorable and a little annoying, just a tad, maybe because Kyungsoo is dealing with his own shit and doesn't have anymore energy for anything else.   
  
Kyungsoo still ends up laughing when Jongdae leaves finally after another 10 mins, well, it might have been one heck of a surprise and early Christmas present to the boy, but poor guy he can't brag about it to anyone until later.   
  
After throwing a few disapproving glances to Jongin's stained shirt, Kyungsoo leads him to his room to rack around the closet to find something he could wear. "Why are you so big?" He grumbles when nothing seems to even remotely fit Jongin's ripped body. "Aha! This should fit!!" Pulling out an oversized sweater he throws it at Jongin, who already had unbuttoning the shirt halfway. Kyungsoo dashes out of the room with pink cheeks.   
  
"I never seen him around before," Jongin comments when they both finally settle on the floor of the living room, with boxes of chicken, Soju and beer between them,"Back when we used to visit the shop."   
  
Back then they visited the store a lot, it was their usual date spot since the idol loved fried chicken more than any other food.   
  
"His parents dumped him here few years ago, cuz you know how kids can be in cities" he says, trying not to look at Jongin's glossy lips for too long. He ends up staring anyway and gets caught. He is such a stupid at time. Averting his gaze, Kyungsoo looks ahead to where their spread legs are tangled or mostly Jongin messing with Kyungsoo's.   
  
"Bullies?"   
  
"Sort of, but he is better now," Kyungsoo says fondly, "a little pain in ass at times," still remembers when the kid had transferred to their school and how he mostly kept to himself, it took a lot of effort and coaxing for the kid to start talking in the class. But its entire different story once the kid gets comfortable with someone and starts being a baby. Loud whining lill shit.   
  
Jongin hums softly, turning his body to Kyungsoo as eyes trail slowly over his features. "Remember when.." Jongin brings up one of their old fun times and that's the start of laughing and swatting each other playfully and more laughing. And at one point they had to stop laughing because their stomachs hurts. It feels so easy, and so scary, forgetting everything just like that, it's a loop of suffering. Or just a mirage in desert.   
  
After the funny parts they had fallen into a dull conversion of families and works. As if Kyungsoo doesn't follow Jongin's activities and watches the comebacks and music bank stages, but that's for Jongin to never know and Kyungsoo to never tell. They both are equally tipsy not not entirely drunk yet. The dim lighting casts beautiful shadows over Jongin's face, Kyungsoo had hard time to tear his gaze away.   
  
At last, the curiosity wins, as the words leaves Kyungsoo's wet lips after a few more bottles of soju.   
  
"What are doing here Jongin?"   
  
And he waits for the answer, he maybe already knows the answer or he doesn't. But for one thing he sure that there is no such thing as reset button for life, where you can forget everything and start a new or any magic liquid in which you dip your head and hola~~ unwanted memories gone.   
  
"As g'old friends"   
  
Friends.. something burns in his eyes, making them water a little. The word so foreign without a boy in front. He ends up nodding and finishing the rest of the bottle in one go, he picks the stray thread of the rug underneath.   
  
"Friends eh?" He slurs, taking another sip.   
  
The silence stretches between them, as he universe masks every noise out. Or it's just them, wearing masks and hiding behind a veil. One can never know another except what's swims in surface.   
  
"We can't be friends," he mumbles, as his tongue gets heavy with each passing second.   
  
"Why?" Comes the pestering.   
  
"I don't want us to be friends Jongin," he admits, a little too honest, but the liquid courage is drumming through his veins.   
  
"What do you want us to be then?" Jongin leans closer as eyebrows furrow in the middle forming a frown. A hand brushes Kyungsoo's unruly raven hair out of owlish eyes, which can't help but stare back despite the moist pooling at the corners. He snuggles into the palm that comes to rest on his cheek, as a stray tear makes its way out of closed eyes and touched the thumb that's creasing it so carefully.   
  
Their gaze meets, Jongin's face has gone even more softer if that's possible, his lips even more pink, plush, parted softly, so inviting, so divine.. how many days, months, years it has been? Why doesn't the longing subside? He is such a fool.   
  
Kyungsoo should listen to someone that's yelling at the back of his head, but he is a little too drunk to make out the words as he leans forward and presses their lips together.   
  
Jongin gasps but presses back into the kiss harder, eagerly parting his lips, smiling into the kiss when Kyungsoo makes a low whine, pulling him down by neck, nibbling the lips he missed so much.   
  
The Soju bottle gets knocked down, spilling the drink. His pants get soaked in the liquid but he doesn't care, far to gone to care for anything else when Jongin is pressed to him so close.. so so close yet not close enough.   
  
It rolls across the floor with a clunking noise by the time Jongin is hiking him by hands cupping the back of his thighs fingers dipping into the flesh though the pant's material. Kyungsoo is too busy chasing after the lips and peppering kisses over the defined jawline to register anything and next thing he knows is Jongin on top of him, as his back pressed into the old mattress, with a creak.   
  
As if a block of domino blocks got knocked down, the kiss sets down a chain of reactions erupting small giggles and gasps with more of soft kisses peppered on the expanse of exposed skin. Warm mouths crash together and hot ragged breaths mingle as Jongin finally.. finally slides inside him with a low groan, whispering how good it feels.   
  
Holding tightly onto his shoulders Kyungsoo makes a satisfied sigh at the familiar yet painful stretch, but that's not enough, he needs more and Jongin is ever so happy to compile as he puts his dancer body to good use making Kyungsoo sing songs they share between only themselves. Hiking his legs higher and crossing them over Jongin's hips Kyungsoo tries to match his pace which is almost brutal, mind-blowing like how everything blurring around them as they reach the ecstasy as one.


	2. Chapter 2

  
Kyungsoo wakes up to something wet tickling his neck, it's wet and warm but not enough to bring his mind out of sleepy fuzzy hangover. Just how much did he drink the night before? Did he pick up a dog or something that's licking him. However a tiny bite that follows has him make an embarrassing mix between a squeak and moan.  
  
"You look so cute in the mornings," the groggy voices invades his sleepy ears. Instantly perking up, his eyes shoot open and take in account the warm body that's pressed to his back.  
  
Jongin... Drinks... And... And Kiss.. after that everything is a blur of naked skin.  
  
Rolling over the bed, he moves away making the man whine and trying to follow. Kyungsoo quickly pushes him back with his leg. His eyes growing wide when he takes in both their naked glory. Fuck.  
  
Mind still a jumbled mess, he jolts out of the bed with shaky legs, hastily looking for his clothes.  
  
"Soo...," Jongin whines from the bed, looking at him sleep ridden dopey eyes, brown hair a mess of locks.  
  
"No!!! Don't, last night was a mistake," he quickly barks out before, his heart melts and his fingers reach out wade through the messy hair . How stupid he was last night to end up in bed together with the only person he shouldn't have with, and how stupid he is now to even think of wanting to kiss the pout away.  
  
"Kyungsoo!!," Jongin climbs out of bed too, and stunts over to a wrapped in bedsheet mommy looking Kyungsoo with only head out, stopping him by shoulder. He doesn't bother to cover himself an inch, and the morning wood stands proud.  
  
" You said you don't want to be friends last night," was it accusation?  
  
"I still don't- last night was a terrible-- terrible mistake," Kyungsoo averts his eyes, they are close, too close and Jongin is being such distraction for his hangover head and still hung over heart.  
  
"Don't call it mistake," Jongin steps in front of him, lips pressed into a thin line with brows furrowed. He looks pissed.  
  
" Then what do you suggest?" Kyungsoo huffs in mild annoyance, it's too early to deal with anything much less his ex-lover.... It's even ex? When they still not over each other as it seems. And he does remember a very old picture of Jongin atop of him, the day before Jongin raid the train to Seoul, in the idol's wallet when he pulled the few bills to pay for chicken.  
  
"A one night stand," Jongin suggests, breathing through his mouth, as if the words burn his tongue.  
  
Oh...oh.. a one night stand, like Jongin picked someone from a bar because his dick wanted to fuck someone, anyone who are just a tad bit attractive enough for him to sleep with.  
  
But one night stands are purely based on lust.. not feelings, Kyungsoo bites his tongue from correcting. He nods before trailing his eyes discreetly over Jongin's torso and cant help the gap that betrays his lips at the bite marks he left. Shit. What was he even thinking or was he even thinking at all. Wait...  
  
"Y-your g-girlfriend Jongin," his voice cracks, it stucks him suddenly, how terrible person he is to sleep with a man in relationship. Something breaks behind his eyes, as tears starts flowing from eyes at the sudden realisation.  
  
"What? No," Jongin denies, scrunching his nose he takes a step forward. Kyungsoo takes one back. "I don't have Soo," he stops. Kyungsoo stops too. "is that why you are holding back?" Another step, their toes kiss each other.  
  
Jongin gently wipes away the tears with thumbs cupping Kyungsoo's face in his palms, tilting his face slightly to make him look up. "Soo.."  
  
Kyungsoo's heart leaps at the soft voice calling him with such affection. He wants to say no, he wants to deny every possible hint of any lingering feelings.  
  
But, honestly, who is he trying to kid at this point, after whispering confessions of love the night before so intimately and shamelessly, all spread out under Jongin.  
  
Pressing their foreheads together, Jongin takes another deep breath, his hands rubs Kyungsoo's sides soothingly.  
  
Kyungsoo ends up crying even more, hiccuping. Jongin waits patiently pulling him into a tight embrace. He tries to block away everything that's not Jongin, every damn thought hurting his head even more, he can feel soft fingers rubbing circles on his back, a ghost of breath over his cheek as lips pressed into side of his temples, It's all too surreal.  
  
He ends up crying some more as Jongin hugs him in the bed as he too tears up, but holds it for the sake of other.  
  
"Why do you push me away when you love me so much stupid." It wasn't a question and Jongin wasn't even looking for an answer.  
  
  
Jongin gets clingy when sleeping together, for the second time Kyungsoo wakes up to a warm body pressed to his own, and a face pressed in the space between his neck and shoulder. Upon Kyungsoo's body movements, he mumbles something sleepily.  
  
"Huh?" He was too busy the first few times to make out anything other than the lips brushing over his skin delicately.  
  
"Let's go on a date," Jongin finally gives up and pulls his face away to make the words clear.  
  
A date, it's been a while, a while as in years, the last time he went on a date with was... Jongin, before he decided to set the younger free for the second time.  
  
"It's too risky," he answers eventually, while their dates can be passed as friendly outgoings, as far as he knows friends doesn't kiss or sleep together. Jongin has no self control when it comes to skinship, they almost got caught once because Jongin was too busy trying to steal a kiss to notice his mom coming into the living room, where they were watching some action movie.  
  
"House date?" Jongin smiles. Are they thinking about the same thing? "Let's watch the shitty action movie and make out half way," Kyungsoo smiles, seems it to be.  
  
Scratching his hair, Kyungsoo schools an expression of consideration but eventually gives up when Jongin starts pressing small kisses behind the ear, a sensitive spot. Sly fucker.  
  
.  
  
..  
  
"Bastard" Kyungsoo scowls.  
  
Jongin has the audacity to look bashful, stopping his hand that's snaked under the apron to unbutton Kyungsoo's shirt.  
  
"You asked me to cum inside!!!" He protests, grinning.  
  
"I said no such thing," he might have, but he wants to pretend.  
  
"Oh, and you called me daddy," the buttons come off easily and make space for the naughty hands to continue its molestation.  
  
"I would neve-.. " Fuck, his nipples are sensitive.  
  
"But you shouldn't have, you are not the one that has to spray water up their ass," Kyungsoo growls and puts down the knife to swat away the mischievous hand. He grimaces at the memory of having to spend quite some time in the shower scrubbing off the dried sticky cum. "And it was a lot" he grumbles.  
  
Jongin gives him a sly smile, that's too smug for his liking with a lift of eye brow.  
  
  
Kyungsoo sets the table as Jongin attends few calls and tells him mom that's he is over Kyungsoo's and won't be home till dinner.  
  
He doesn't know what to make up of their situation, as their legs touch under the table and Jongin tangles them even further like it's natural even after all these years.  
  
"When are you going back?" He asks wanting to know how much they are allowed to spend before Jongin gets too busy once he goes back to Seoul.  
  
"Tomorrow," Jongin says, stuffing his mouth with some rice.  
  
.  
  
..  
  
  
" We can make this works Soo, please have faith in me eh?"  
  
After the breakfast, they cleaned up the living room of the bottles and cans of last night and bones of chicken and settled in the couch cuddling, as some shitty movie plays in the background.  
  
Jongin's long legs hang over the hand rest and Kyungsoo atop of him, sharing a few kisses between small talks.  
  
"You broke up with her?" Kyungsoo asks instead, make it work, that's loaded. It's hard to make anything work when they live worlds apart. Jongin would be too busy, too stressed,too worn out to have some time for him.  
  
Jongin grunts, obviously displeased at the diversion of topic when he had been trying to bring it up whole morning. " Never dated," he confesses.  
  
Kyungsoo holds himself up on both hands to give him a look. But Jongin shrugs and pulls him down, "I slept around a lot left and right, but didn't-- couldn't date anyone," his voice drops to softer tone,"I realised at some point, I was looking for you in everyone I slept with,"  
  
That's.. that's actually lot to take in, as much as it stings, it makes his stomach to flip.  
  
Kyungsoo hums as a note of understanding, his head snuggling more into Jongin's palm that's playing with his hair. "I haven't either," he confesses back.  
  
"Missed you,"  
  
It hurts, but Kyungsoo gives into the kiss, Jongin's soft lips on his, as his fingers plays with brown mess of hair, it's slow and sensual unlike the last night's or the night where they both knew was going to be a rare one in near future. They enjoy exploring slowly, it's nice, Kyungsoo can kiss Jongin for a very very long time. Sometimes he wonders what would have happened if he didn't give up on singing and joined Jongin in the same company.  
  
Had they been together for years behind the cameras? Or they gets ruined beyond any salvation.  
  
Jongin's hand slips inside his shirt, running over the soft tummy, a quite contrast to his own six packs. Breathlessly Jongin tugs the first few buttons of his shirt and pushing it back off shoulders and his mouth instantly follows to the exposed skin, kissing and making new marks of his own. Kyungsoo feels like he is ruined for anyone after Jongin had tasted him, he could never give it to anyone else the same.way he submits to Jongin. His heart aches at the thought that the day will end and Jongin will be gone.  
  
He is all breathy moans and incoherent mumbles by the time Jongin makes him straddle his lap, dick snugly fit in his ass. All the softness is replaced with passion as Kyungsoo starts to buck his hips sensually, making Jongin throw his head back in bliss, exposing his neck. A temptation raises in his stomach to just lean forward and leave a mark for the world to see.  
  
Kyungsoo locks his fingers around Jongin's neck, hands still stuck in the shirt that's helplessly hanging off his shoulders, Jongin dips forward and laps at his nipples, before bitting it erupting a filthy moan from him.  
  
Kyungsoo ends up taking a second shower that day, spending extra time to wash his ass.  
  
.  
  
..  
  
"It's not end," Jongin insists, pressing Kyungsoo more into the wooden door. Kyungsoo cranes his neck to one side to give better access, he is gonna have to wear a turtleneck the next day to school.  
  
"I promise," Jongin presses on last kiss to his forehead before his phone goes off again, indicating his manager whose here to take him back.  
  
Kyungsoo nods, holding back the choke, Jongin had coaxed him for the past one and half day, and it's really hard to even resist with how much his heart beating fast and going crazy around the younger. The lingering feelings he thought weren't actually lingering but they were blowing out like the tornados in his stomach.  
  
Jongin's hand unlocks the door with a smile on his lips, but Kyungsoo stops the hand and pulls him into another deep kiss, he wants to remember even when Jongin is miles away from him, the impending loneliness making him desperate.  
  
"Wow," Jongin says dazily, his lips swollen from the kiss, hair a mess. He looks thoroughly kissed and Kyungsoo takes pride in it.  
  
With finger combing he tries to make the hair slightly less makeout-vibes, Jongin awards him with a kiss on his nose.  
  
.  
  
..  
  
Kyungsoo's in the middle of the class when the phone blows with first message. It was a selca of Jongin in makeup room, he looks gorgeous with the exact look from his recent MV power. Kyungsoo has to admit it's one of his most favourite looks, with the undercut and sparking stones decorating one side of his face, he replies with a heart eyes emojis followed by few kissing lips. Their texts are silly and a little band-aids to read again and laugh at times.  
  
It's been two week Jongin returned to Seoul to resume his idol activities. Although it's a little hard at first to digest the one in his arms is now miles away, and they won't be seeing each other in physical form any time sooner except on screen in between schedules and car rides and sleepy talks but nonetheless it was better than drowning in honey whiskey with the idol's songs playing as the bgm, paired with old memories,it terribly resembles a kdrama sans more painful in real life. Pain is inevitable but suffering is,  
and there is strange sense of being a whole again knowing the other wants him just as much. They can make it work, like Jongin said.  
  
He gets horny sometimes, especially when Jongin makes the runway his bitch or even airports, he had seen what lies beneath those designer clothes, so it isn't a surprise when he forms a tent in his own pants at times thinking about his gorgeous boyfriend at odd times. They end up having an impromptu sexy times. Who knew he could cum that hard just by Jongin groaning and grunting on the other side of the line, tugging his own length.  
  
They fight,over something silly, over nothing and over anything. They go without a single message for... Few hours before one gives up. One time Jongin had made a surprising visit at 2 in the morning and left even before sun rise, Kyungsoo had cried about how stupid it was, nonetheless appreciate the physical contact. All they did was cuddle and bask in each other, as Kyungsoo traced Jongin face to memorize each dip and curve, and the newly dyed soft pink hair.  
  
And he made it into fan sign once, Jongin's face was worth all the trouble, and the kisses in the van on their way to Jongin's place. Jongin's manager Junmyeon was wonderful and very supportive, though he scolded them to be discreet.  
  
He visits Mrs.Kim a few times as promised, turns out she had been known that there was something going between the two. And it was nothing surprising to Jongin's sisters.  
  
"Take care of him Kyungsoo," Mrs.Kim smiles at him, as they sit together in the garden over a cup of tea. "Haven't seen him smile like this in years," Kyungsoo hides the blush by sipping the tea. He nods eventually, making the older woman to laugh and pat his shoulder.  
  
  
It's inevitable Jongin gets busy with world tour, 48 shows in 32 days,too worn out to make a small talk even. His manager answers most of his calls, telling Kyungsoo that he would make the idol call back later or he can relay the information if it's urgent, Kyungsoo always politely declines saying it's nothing important and drops the call after a few word enquiring of the Jongin's health and rest.  
  
Kyungsoo misses Jongin, it's almost crazy, the loneliness contributing nothing good. Maybe it's their downfall again. Maybe this is where they stop and give up for good.  
  
The exam season comes, Kyungsoo pushes the thought to the back of his head for now to focus more on the pressing matters at hand. He ends up tutoring Jongdae more often than not. He had seen the energetic kid stealing glances at a certain someone from another class, and laughs remembering how they were in high school, or even worse, not being able to take eyes of eachother.  
  
  
.  
  
..  
  
  
Idol life is hard, when Jongin first auditioned and got accepted as a trainee, he wasn't aware of how much it asks from him, or takes away without asking. But nonetheless, he loves it. He would choose it again if he were ever given a choice of. But what he won't give up for this is a certain doe eyed boy.  
  
Do Kyungsoo, his first love and probably will be the only.  
  
Jongin had set him free when he asked in the past, albeit unwillingly. Love asks for sacrifice he had read it somewhere, thought it was cheesy and cringy but... He doesn't want to make Kyungsoo suffer any more just because Jongin isn't a good boyfriend, or a part time lover. So he let him go once.  
  
He tried to forget Kyungsoo, he really did but it wasn't possible especially when he could still hear the hearty chuckles and sweet giggles of a short male and his thick lips stretched into a heart when he grins imprinted on the back of his eyelids. Always there, with every blink.  
  
The injury from over working and the few days break that follows, he flew to his family for some comfort. Gathering his all will power, Jongin had pointedly avoided running into Kyungsoo once on the street, second time in the corner baker shop but as they say third is a charm, he ran into Kyungsoo in his own home. Funny how fate works..  
  
Who was he to deny fate? So Jongin followed it and went to try it out one last time by hanging out like " g'old friends"  
  
Kyungsoo ever beautiful lovely Kyungsoo had bought his every album, magazine, their old photos and small gifts exchanged, stashed everything in the closet. The sorry excuse of confession letter Jongin has once scribbled now crisp, and words blurred as if someone cried holding it to chest. Kyungsoo, his Kyungsoo.  
  
With anxious stomach, and bubbling hope weaving through his veins, he determined not to give up yet... He.. they started fighting for it.  
  
.  
  
..  
  
Waving off his still talking manager and stumbling into his flat in a high raised building, Jongin made a mental note to make a call to his beloved first thing.  
  
Kicking off shoes he made a beeline to the kitchen, taking out a bottle of water and emptying half of it in one go. Fishing his phone out, he looks for the only contact with a heart next to the name, but comes to a stop in his tracks when a noise comes from somewhere.  
  
Not again !!! He doesn't have any energy to deal with the scary sasaeng fans now, all he wants to do is settle in bed and listen to Kyungsoo talking about most mundane things till they both fall asleep.  
  
Irritated, he starts calling the manager, mentally feeling sorry for making him comebac--  
  
Something catches his eye, he drops the call and grins before making a run towards it..  
  
  
"You came!!" Jongin had casually slipped his extra key at Kyungsoo's place the last time he went to visit for a day. It was.. very intentional, but nothing pressuring. "If you ever come.." he has stressed that it was for convince but nothing else, albeit he wished for Kyungsoo to visit him some time.  
  
"Yes I did,"  
  
Kyungsoo giggles as Jongin hugs and twirls their bodies together.  
  
It doesn't take long for their clothes to come off and decorate the place all the way to the bedroom as the otherwise silent room filled with their filthy noises.  
  
  
"Missed you," Jongin traces his face other a finger, lips stretched into a smile.  
  
"Jongin,"  
  
He stiffs at the seriousness in Kyungsoo's voice and stops his ministrations, and signals him to continue.  
  
"I don't know how this is going to work.." he trails off..  
  
Jongin's hearts drops, is this it? They haven't gave their best shot yet... They can still try, his eyes tears up at the thought of Kyungsoo ending what they have again..  
  
"Kyungsoo--," he starts, his voice becoming so small, but gets interrupted with a finger pressed to his lips, shhh-ing him of whatever protests about to bubble.  
  
"I found a job here," Kyungsoo finishes.  
  
"You can't do thi- wait what?!" He shots up in bed and pulls the other with him,"you are not breaking up with me right?" He asks.  
  
Swatting his arm playfully, Kyungsoo tugs him closer hiding his face in Jongin's neck, "am not,"  
  
"Why?" He croaks out, as new set of tears starts forming, as his heart swells a few inches, he is just... Too happy, it's such a big step.  
  
"For you," Kyungsoo whispers, pulling his face back, wiping away the tears and pressing a kiss to his cheek, as his own nose frails.  
  
"But- but you love home," Jongin is happy, he really is that's Kyungsoo is with him, and they can be together under one roof. But Kyungsoo... Kyungsoo loves Busan, his-- their home.  
  
"But I love you more."  
  
For Kyungsoo it seemed like the right thing to do, as cheesy as it gets, home is where your heart lies, and Kyungsoo's lies here, in this room, in his arms, a six foot baby, sobbing happy tears, pulling him even closer, mumbling 'i love you two,three and infinity,'  
  
  
"You smell like home," Jongin nozzles into his hair, after they had spent an hour or two or too many exploring eachother's bodies despite the tiredness.  
  
"I smell like sex and cum," that drives Jongin into a giggling fit, and Kyungsoo likes this home better than anything, where Jongin's laughter blooms like flowers in spring.  
  
  
In the end, love alone isn't enough, love becomes a choice, Kyungsoo made his choice by building his new home with Jongin, and Jongin... He made a choice to reduce his workload in favour of spending time with his precious fiance,(shhhh... Kyungsoo doesn't know about ring Jongin hid carefully).  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Comments and upvotes very much appreciated. Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Jagibros@twt


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